The First Cycle

Where did we leave our girl and our boy? Ah, I remember – they had just agreed to wait one more month before starting to try for a baby so they could attend a very important wedding the next year.

After all, what’s one month when you’ve had jammed in your head that everyone will get pregnant immediately and one mistake in contraception is GUARANTEED to leave you up the duff?

A little history on the girl first. She went on the pill at 18 to control irregular periods – she was going 3 months without a period and then the bleed was lasting up to three weeks. The pain at the start of it was unbearable and the whole experience was impacting on her life. For the first time ever she was in control, 28 day cycles, 4 day bleeds. Within a year or so, she knew when her period would arrive, generally to within an hour or two!

Then one day she went to the family planning clinic to get another six month’s supply and they expressed concern that her blood pressure had risen. She was given three months’ pills and told she’d have to return, but that it was probably a rogue reading caused by something immediate as her weight, lifestyle and diet did not suggest a risk of high blood pressure. Three months later and the reading had increased further. She was offered a progesterone only pill as the likely reason was hormonal relating to the pill. This brought her blood pressure back down, but she suffered constant bleeding. What’s the point in contraception if it causes you not to need it? Two months later, she stopped taking the pill and moved to condoms.

Neither of them enjoyed this move for two reasons. One, condoms are far less fun and two, her cycles had returned to their original irregularity. They ranged from 58 to 127 days in the first year, reducing to 39 to 63 days in the second year and finally settling to around 35 to 45 days a few months before they decided to try. At first they were constantly worried that they’d become pregnant. Dozens of pregnancy tests were taken as cycles extended ever onwards. They were concerned that something might not be working inside of her. They started to question whether things would work for them when the time came to try.

She did some research into monitoring her cycles. She bought a thermometer and started to analyse cervical mucus. After a couple of months she could identify her ‘safe’ periods and they were able to limit their use of condoms. As her cycles started to shorten, she was able to identify symptoms which looked like ovulation and was soon able to predict the start date of her period. They started to feel more in control.

Their first cycle of trying came. They were excited yet it felt natural. She found herself less concerned about where they were in the cycle and she stopped checking her cervical mucus. The thermometer was natural now – she didn’t even have to wake up to do it (and often found she’d done it during the night without realising – she must have emerged from deep sleep, subconsciously thought it was wake up time, done it and gone back to sleep – she’d only know because she found the thermometer on her pillow when she looked for it in the morning!).

They both cut back on drinking. Neither were big drinkers, but they’d share a drink about 5 nights a week and have a big night out every second or third week. Both wanted to drive now, and both were willing to hold back. It was all part of the excitement.

With a holiday coming up, two weeks with both sets of parents, they decided that they would tell them while they were away. That would allow them to drink less and would take away the concern of which one they would tell first. They dreamed they’d be able to tell them they’d succeeded. They bought tests and packed them and took them with them. Her period was due while they were away. They were confident and happy. They felt lucky. They knew that it wouldn’t necessarily happen straight away, but they felt lucky. It could happen straight away.

She could tell a few days earlier that her period was coming. She was uncomfortable and grumpy. They were disappointed but it was only the first month. They’d had a manic time when they thought she’d ovulated – barely been around and they’d possibly missed it. Oh well, better luck next time. And anyway, they were on holiday in the sun – nothing matters as much in that situation.

Tags: 1 month, background, holiday, TTC